What a fuckin bitch.

I never thought I would say it, but I am happy my divorce will be final soon. I am so happy I will be shed of this cancer in my life. Not really, we have a kid together, but as far as giving a fuck what she is going through?I am done. Just last weekend she calls me crying, blubbering to be more precise, about how Larry, her boyfriend she just moved my child in with, embarrassed and verbally abused her in public. They were breaking up, and how could she be so stupid, and cry, and whine. That was on Saturday. Monday she calls me all excited, ?You?ll never guess who I ran into on Myspace.?

?Oh, who?? I?m thinking Abby, or Juan, or Lisa; I know however the only reason she would approach me with it the way she did was if it was Brent.

?Brenton Wallace,? she says all excited. ?He wants to talk to you. Says he?s sorry for the way things happened. He says he wants to talk to you. Can I give him your number??

?Fuck that, no. I don?t want to deal with some fucker clearing his conscience all over my day.?

But I?m a sucker, let me back ya?ll up a bit and tell you how we got here.

When I first met Amanda she picked me up from the parking lot of the pool hall. We went back to my friend?s house, and after his girlfriend, and the guy I thought was her husband was passed out; she came up stairs and had a dick in each end of her until dawn. I was completely cool with that, I had a clue what type bitch I was fucking with. We proceeded to get into a relationship that was sexually free. Although she was allowed to have boy and girlfriends right up in my face, everyone I ever saw was not good enough; they were made out to be scheming bitches, or excluded from our household.

We met Brent at the gas station. He used to sell us our cigarettes. Over time we got to know him and not only did we invite him into our house, he invited us into his. We all used to sit around with his wife and kids, watching wrestling, smoking pot, going on crazy trips together. When he started having problems at home our hearts went out to him. We invited him into our home, and I invited him into my wife.

I remember the first time they fucked. (In hind sight I think it was the first time they fucked. They were probably sneaking around on me long before that.) He was kicked from his home, had no where else to go. We were all sitting on the couch, they started making out. Eventually I was like, ?hey ya?ll want to take that shit out of my lap?? From there he lived with us. He moved with us to Austin and for a long while I was the one who got up a 4am so I could ride the bus all the way across town o be late to work every day. I am sure they took advantage of my long days, and my kindness, and fucked most of the day. Neither one of them had a job before we moved out of there into our duplex, the duplex where he betrayed us both.

We were all living together in a duplex. We really could only afford it because we were all working. We had the best time. Our house is where the people hung out. Free flowing booze and sex and pot and fun. They even went off and spent Thanksgiving together because I had to work that weekend. I was well aware of where their feelings for one another were going. I didn?t mind, he was a friend of mine, a trusted comrade. I always believed, and still do, that a poly relationship is possible. This was my proof, things were great. Then around Christmas he betrayed us all.

One day he left to pay the rent and he never came back. Well, he did later with apologies and begging, but not the rent money he stole. Yep, he left, used our rent money to buy his kids Christmas and when that shit ran dry he wanted to come home. Well, by that point there was no home to come to, we were about to be evicted for lack of payment, and Amanda was pregnant. She was so upset that he left, but I think she was more upset that he left without her. When he came back, I could tell she wanted him to stay. I told her so; I told her that for my love of her I would get past this. Instead of doing what she wanted she did what she thought was best. Of course her decision to let him go was my fault. My fault for being her husband, my fault for getting her pregnant, (that was uncertain at the time too. How did I know if it was mine? I was there for some of the stuff she did with her pussy.), my fault for pushing her to make a decision like this. She let him go, even though I knew she didn?t want to, even though I told her I would accept her decision and work my shit out with him, she let him go. ?To save our marriage?. That?s what she told me. He told me yesterday he stole our money and left to save my marriage too. Neither of them realizes this was the incident that sent us on the long road to divorce.

He betrayed us, a betrayal I know I wouldn?t have been forgiven for, by either of them. And even though he did this evil against us, she loves him still. That was the ultimate betrayal.

But she was pregnant with my kid, a fact I was unsure of until I looked into that baby?s face, so I continued through this. She knows full well what a problem this was for me. The last time I had a nightmare was over this shit. I hated her, I hated him, I wanted them both to suffer. But he was gone and we were moving on. Our relationship was in tatters but neither of us realized how badly torn it was. Eventually we do a temporary separation, me again trying to get us back to the city and out of the fucking country. And you know all these years later, as we are supposed to be fighting for our relationship she asks me if I can help her find this man. I lost it, I went off. How could you ask me such a thing? That day was the day I knew I would never go back to her. Judas! Both of them.

So we are getting divorced on Wednesday. Last Saturday she was distraught over the loss of her relationship with Larry. Monday she is calling me saying Brent wants to talk to me, Thursday she is trying to play with my desire to see my kid, so she can go see Brent, on Saturday. Not a few days ago her world was over, when I offered to ease her burden and keep Amara for a while, she says that all she needed right now was her baby, fuck these guys. Today her slut potential is looking very bright indeed. I can see what?s coming. I am going to get to see a lot more of my kid, but I also have to look forward to the potential that she will wind up with a person I hate. I may have to pick my kid up from his house, as this fucking slut looks on smiling.

She says I always win, that I bully her until I get my way. All I am telling her is, if you are going to do all this dick hopping, stop dragging my baby into it. Let me keep her here, where it?s stable and there is no chain of dicks lined up for their turn. I hate the guy for what he did. I hate her for her refusal to see how fucked up he really is. I hate the fact that she is going to play my baby into this and every time I say ?I can?t? it?s going to be played up as she being the long suffering most responsible one. Every time I say ?let me keep her for a while, let me take that responsibility, I can do it now.? My response is ?YOU WILL NEVER TAKE MY BABY AWAY FROM ME!?

It?s the same pattern we always had in every fucking argument. I would make a pretty eloquent and well stated case, she would barely respond with some short hand baloney, I would be angry that she didn?t even listen to my argument, she would say something stupid or insulting, I would then proceed to shove my fucking point down her throat. Better off for us all if she just died. But no luck there I?m sure. I?ve never been that lucky.

So, I decide to give forgiveness a chance and I contact Brent. He doesn?t seem to remember, or care much about what happened. I say fuck it what ever man, you fucking suck. Hours later this bitch is trying to use me so she can go suck his dick, and then gets mad at me because I balk at it. You know, come Wednesday she can go on ta whoreing it up big time. Hell she did that as soon as I left her ass. None of what she does with that cunt is my business anymore. But taking my baby up around someone we both know is dirty, shady and untrustworthy is just stupid and unforgiveable.

I told the bitch I would be here all day Saturday, bring my baby on by. But because I told her how I feel about her slutty ass, she is now making it out that I beat her down and I am keeping her away from her big black dick. I am sure she misses it after a year with the abusive Mexican. But i can see how this will turn out. And again, it ain?t gonna be good. But fuck her; she is going to have to find a new fucking shoulder to cry on when shit goes bad. Not me, not anymore. I am shut of it.