Hoochie Culture
The problem with Americas Teen Population
We have a serious issue in or country and I don’t believe anyone is actually tackling the problem head on. That problem is the “Hoochie” as an ideal image for teens and pre-teens. As an adult male I have no problem with grown women giving us an enticing look at the goodies. We are sexual beings and we “peacock” as a way to draw attention to ourselves. Men shave and groom just as fastidiously as any woman, we choose our clothes and accessories carefully in order to be seen, and admired for how we look. Appearance is everything, especially when you are single and “looking”. And it’s great when you are an adult.
The problem I see is when our young women take up this mantle and parade themselves about playing grown up. Make-up at 9 or ten years old, short skirts and low-cut shirts, mid-drifts exposed, showing off their little pot bellies, but no mental capacity to bear the load of adult actions. Every day in our pop culture, media and magazines our young women are filled full of these ideas that it’s not only okay to expose yourself, or make your face all up, but that it’s expected if you are going be popular or have a boyfriend. The people they choose as role models are doing it, the adults around them are doing it and the only people offering them any alternatives are religious extremists. Even at much younger ages our young women are exposed to this idea of “sexual exposure”. Take the Brat’z Dolls as an example. They are marketed to very young girls and are dressed with “attitude”. The attitude is a rebellious half nudity and a vapid almost blank approach to life. Top it off with the fantasy of stardom and our girls are already set up for a future in hoochie wear. The clothing manufactures take their hint and they scale down adult clothes to fit the smaller developing bodies. The media take their hint and every model they use in their programming and advertising is dressed in this style. Social predators take the hint, and we see them every few months on To Catch a Predator. But what about the real scum out there that drive through or school zones, walk our malls and arcades, dance in our clubs? How do we protect our children from them if we allow our children to present them selves as adults?
Tyra Banks did a show the other day on the problem of teen pregnancy. On her panel she had young girls from 12 to 17; some of them were wanted to get pregnant, others already had children, and some were currently pregnant a few on their second or third pregnancy; one young lady had already had two abortions and given up her third for adoption. Tyra tackled the problem and really brought out the truth and I commend her for that. The sad thing for me was the fact that all of these young girls thought this behavior appropriate, they had no issue with how they were treating their bodies at such a young age and every one of them was tight jeans and low cut tops. Each of them had some story about having sex because it was the thing to do if you wanted to fit in, or wanted a boyfriend. Or a story about a boy claiming undying love, or getting pregnant because you wanted to keep a boy around. Tyra asked one girl; “if it’s not about the boy then why not just pick some random teen boy from the audience and have a kid with him?” The girl balked at this idea, as she should, but I don’t think she got the point that it doesn’t matter the boy, they are just boys and as ill equipped as the girls are to handle these issues. Yet our society seems to perpetrate the idea that even very young the girls should look to the boys for support and caring, love and passion when these boys don’t have the mental capacity to offer any of those things. I can tell you as a man I was well into my twenties before I had any real concept of any of those things.
What images are our young boys bombarded with? The same ones the girls are when it comes to women, but out side of that they are forced into a superficial fantasy world of super heroes and robot cars, dreams of sports greatness and getting the girl. And this can continue well into adult-hood without some sort of intervention. There are no real lessons for our boys on how to view women, treat women, or interact socially with women. It’s either “treat them like trash,” or “treat them like treasure.” The first just breeds misogyny the second breeds a sense of entitlement in women that few actually deserve. All these boys see after school is violence and half naked women on evening television. They go to school the next morning and they see the girls in the hallways decked out like Sara Jessica-Parker or Paris “ultimate hoe” Hilton and they approach these girls with an attitude the girls accept as normal. Before long, and without intervention from someone, they will be having sex behind the bleachers. The boy may feel pressured, the girl my fell like she has to and neither know what the consequences actually are. They may whisper to each other of love and being together forever, but forever is a concept most adults shun if the divorce rate speaks to it at all. These kids may experiment and forego the condom because they are expected to know how to use on but neither really does. They may pull out because the boy say she won’t get pregnant if he cum’s on her belly. But neither of them, in that heated moment thinks they should pass on the sex all together. How do children 12 and thirteen end up alone enough to do these things? Have we lost curfews and open bedroom doors? Are our children now dictating their time and our households? Do we really think its okay for these young kids to be left alone to do as they please when we as adults set rules but offer no guidance or explanation for those rules? We expect our children to behave but we don’t think they deserve any reasoning. Do we think they won’t understand? Then we should see to it that they do. Isn’t that our job as parents?
We are living in a culture where our politicians can say to us on one hand that there should be a freedom to choose for the woman, for it is her body, and on the other hand that abortion should be regulated to back alley quacks and hangers in dark bathrooms, because if we do away with legalized abortions that is where we will find many of these young girls. We live in a culture where we hold the men that impregnate women and bail on their families responsible, so too should we hold these young boys responsible. The girls are viewed as the problem; because of course it is as simple as keeping your legs closed right? How many of you waited until you were 21 or married to start having sex? How many of you felt the same pressures that these children are feeling today? I know that in the 80’s things were a little different but no less sexually exciting. There was no real education then either, but we at least had sex-ed class, joke that it was. These teen boys should be held just as accountable as the girls are. If we are going to bring the girls to task fort opening their legs, then the boys should be brought up for sticking their dick in with no protection. Just because there is a cooch hanging out there, we all know that it’s not always prudent to put your dick in it. Let’s teach our boys that and make them answer for doing it. Things are never simple when you are that young. These are children, ignorant, dumb teens and they need guidance. It is up to us as the adults in this society to provide that guidance. And not by just saying, “I’m paying for it you will wear what I tell you,” but by giving our children perspective and guiding their actions. We should gradually allow certain things as they become age appropriate and make sure our children know why we ask of them the things we do. And we must set an example for our children. Let’s be well dressed even if it is just jeans and a tee shirt. Let’s show our children that being neat and covering your underwear is not only fashionable, but socially acceptable for anyone who wants any respect.
Facts are, your appearance speaks volumes about your person. If you allow your child to present them selves in a negative light they will be treated in that same light. It’s a harsh fact of our society. If your 10 or 12 year old girl goes out looking like a hoochie, there should be no big surprise when she comes home pregnant. If we send them out without any perspective, without any knowledge of what they may face then they will be victimized by their peers and by society at large; If we send them out with no perspective, only a ‘daddy said so” then they will pull a quick change because they will want to fit in with the other girls at school. It is a fact of life. 90 percent of people are followers and will do what the crowd is doing, whether it’s wearing your clothes backwards or showing off your g-string. The first thing we must do is educate ourselves so that we might educate our families, especially our girls.
We have created this culture where we expect our children to behave as adults but we are offering them very little equipment to do so. We allow the television to dictate fashion, and behavior and we offer little in guidance. It’s only okay or little girls to be in too small swim wear because we allow it. What are we teaching our kids? That it is fine if you show a little too much thigh. We are saying that it’s okay to kiss in the closet, or let the touches happen because we are saying nothing at all. I know a large part of the female argument is that they are doing it for their own empowerment and not for any man, but at the root that is bullshit. The facts are we use our appearance the same way the birds use their plumage, to attract and keep mates. No where else in nature do the children develop the bright colors, flowing manes, and scent glands necessary for reproduction until they are physically ready to accept a mate. We as humans have to take it a step further and focus on mental readiness. No 13 year old is mentally capable of taking care of another life. Few are mentally capable of caring for themselves. None of them truly comprehend the consequences of their actions, the sheer will it takes to deal with a child every day of your life. The changes can begin right now, it is up to you as parents, guardians and adults to educate our growing women and men on not only sexual safety but on all of the cues and clues that speak to sexual readiness. I am under no illusions that changing our children’s wardrobe will change the results but I am positive it is one of many steps that will help to lower the teen pregnancy rates, or at the very least prevent your, and my, child from becoming a teen parent. We must act and we must do it right now.
Here is a personal and social commentary. There will very likely be things written here that you will not only disagree with but that will also piss you off. This is a good thing, let us open discourse and see where we truly stand as a people.
Showing posts with label blogging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blogging. Show all posts
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Cultural Norms

Cultural Norms
Culture, Subculture and necessary separation
Over the years my view point on life and the world has gone through a few very deep paradigm shifts and some more subtle changes in general thinking. However one thing that has remained firmly consistent is the belief that if one should choose to separate him self from any cultural norm that separation must be complete. I have met many people who belong to one sub cultural group or another yet still find them selves compelled to hold fast to some idealized cultural belief such as the belief that man should be strictly monogamous. This seems to be a thread through out many sub cultures in America. No matter how outrageous the cultural norm in any group there is always a steady pairing off and degeneration into the petty jealousies that arise from the monogamous ideal. More so is a trend toward religious separation from the main stream and a moral separation. As a religious example; in the Wicca community there is a religious shift from the modern patriarchal mono deific belief systems into what is claimed as an ancient, more natural poly deific matriarchal system. It would seem that this idea would allow for a whole new way of viewing and approaching the world we live in. Yet, this group, afraid of being viewed as “evil” or in league with Satanist, Pagans, or any other relevant religious minority, relent to social pressure and spend, what in my opinion is a great deal of wasted time trying to show the Christian majority that they are not so much different. “We are still ‘good’ people;” they will say and soon rush off to prove it. In another example we can look at the Satanist. This group tends to be more willing to find a point of separation from general culture, indeed that separation is part of the very roots of Satanic thought. However look more closely and you find that a belief system that should give one true freedom to create and live within their own paradigm only gives rise to a great deal of bitter in fighting amongst the various sects. This in fighting is caused as I see it by the very Christian and modern idea that there is only one correct way of thinking about and looking at the world. Most main stream faiths hold the belief that all of the others are spiritually doomed. Many of those who take up the mantle of a sub culture originate from one of the established cultural groups, and bring along all of the programmed behavior from the very culture they seek to escape. Truly, if one is to take up a mantle and say I am this thing and not this other, then he in that instance must move fully away from that which he is not. This requires more than simply a change in religious belief systems.
Although much of any society is governed largely by a general thinking of what is and is not acceptable in polite company, or what is and is not legal in the books, even those who subscribe to certain beliefs within a society do not always follow them as they should. Often this gives rise to separations in religion but also to separations in morality. Morality, like religion is subjective and open to interpretation. Many will say that morals are what they are and there can be no individual moral base. This idea, though it may sound logical is wholly untrue. Morality is as individual as it is necessary. Within Culture and subculture the thread that binds the whole is morality but it must be understood that one subscribes to established morality because one chooses to, not because one was told or taught to. Some will argue that morality is a learned behavior and therefore more open to manipulation from others. While this is true in part, one must also realize that that which can be learned can also be chosen. One can choose to follow one moral guide as opposed to another. A noble and moral act in one culture may be viewed as foolish and insignificant by another. Many will subscribe to those moral bases that serve their individual purpose and conveniently discard the others as foolish or out dated. And in the next breath those same people will argue the moral law they just violated. As an example, you may have a person who subscribes to a belief that sex outside of marriage is wrong, yet this same individual may be unmarried and fucking like crazy. If they find you in violation of the same law, you are often beaten over the head with how wrong it is. It is in my belief that should one decide to take up a mantel of morality of any sort they should then live wholly by that moral code and not find or tolerate any excuse to separate from it. Just as you can not pick and choose what gasses enter your lungs when you take a breath you cannot separate your morality from your honor and you cannot separate your honor from your belief.
It is necessary, if one is to truly find a place of separation from a culture that does not hold the moral code you find fulfilling, to fully separate yourself from that culture completely. Not just by jumping religions or living a life of unfocused morality. You have to take on a whole new view point of the world you live in and the life you lead. Your separation from the parent culture must be complete to the point of a new cultural formation not simply a sub cultural shift. The prefix sub implies that one is still a part of, albeit a lesser part, of some whole. Taking on the mantle of subculture automatically places one firmly in a position to be judged as such and subjected to all of the abuses reserved for those in your low station. Those still within the cultural norm, from whom you chose to separate, will be your accusers, your judgment and your end. There are simply too many bottle necks where one well versed in cultural norms can say to you “why if you believe this do you not believe this or the other? They are intrinsically tied.” And the truth of the matter is that this person would be correct. One cultural belief is in its definition as a culture tied to the history of that culture and the elements apparent in each place and time that culture has touched. You can pick and choose as you wish but you are still on one level tied to the parent culture and thus sub.
So what do you do about it? Change is my answer. First of all do not categorize what you believe as sub. Say I am a “Waxahatchiean” and we believe thus and so, and live that life. Not a pseudo-Christian or false Buddhist life with personal tweaks. If you are going to be something be it and don’t alter it for your own ends and call it a branch. One thing people don’t realize when creating these ideals is that branches are one part of what makes a tree a tree. You are still part of that tree, not separate from it. You can’t call a branch a petal and expect us to say, “I see you are not a part of that tree at all, you look like a branch but you call yourself a petal. Good enough for me.” Ha!
Secondly, you must understand that there is no need to have a group of followers validating what you think with membership cards, poorly written articles backing up what you say, and lip service you your ideals. They are your ideals and if someone else shares them that is great and where once there was one now there are two. But without them, without a group of followers these ideals, this life is still yours and no less valid than anyone else’s. Know that you have a right to be and that is all you truly deserve. So take that right, that life and live it according to your standards of living and allow nothing to separate you from it. Be it or be claimed false.
So, what to do then if you do belong to a sub-cultural group? Well examine it and yourself closely. If you find the group lacking, or if you find that you don’t truly live by the laws set forth by this moral perspective…leave; do something else, try again, and shift your perspective. And why shouldn’t you? If you find that everything fits then stay loyal to that moral code and never be moved. I am this thing and I live by this law. I’d respect you for it more so than if you two-faced, hedged and faltered.
So be part of a culture or be a part of another culture but never sub-culture yourself. It’s comparable to cliques in high school…. You are a “roper” or “prep” or “jock” or “Black-guy” (like being black is a social group) I understand children trying to find a place and understanding in a world they have little control over. But as adults is cliquing up really necessary?
Libertad!
Culture, Subculture and necessary separation
Over the years my view point on life and the world has gone through a few very deep paradigm shifts and some more subtle changes in general thinking. However one thing that has remained firmly consistent is the belief that if one should choose to separate him self from any cultural norm that separation must be complete. I have met many people who belong to one sub cultural group or another yet still find them selves compelled to hold fast to some idealized cultural belief such as the belief that man should be strictly monogamous. This seems to be a thread through out many sub cultures in America. No matter how outrageous the cultural norm in any group there is always a steady pairing off and degeneration into the petty jealousies that arise from the monogamous ideal. More so is a trend toward religious separation from the main stream and a moral separation. As a religious example; in the Wicca community there is a religious shift from the modern patriarchal mono deific belief systems into what is claimed as an ancient, more natural poly deific matriarchal system. It would seem that this idea would allow for a whole new way of viewing and approaching the world we live in. Yet, this group, afraid of being viewed as “evil” or in league with Satanist, Pagans, or any other relevant religious minority, relent to social pressure and spend, what in my opinion is a great deal of wasted time trying to show the Christian majority that they are not so much different. “We are still ‘good’ people;” they will say and soon rush off to prove it. In another example we can look at the Satanist. This group tends to be more willing to find a point of separation from general culture, indeed that separation is part of the very roots of Satanic thought. However look more closely and you find that a belief system that should give one true freedom to create and live within their own paradigm only gives rise to a great deal of bitter in fighting amongst the various sects. This in fighting is caused as I see it by the very Christian and modern idea that there is only one correct way of thinking about and looking at the world. Most main stream faiths hold the belief that all of the others are spiritually doomed. Many of those who take up the mantle of a sub culture originate from one of the established cultural groups, and bring along all of the programmed behavior from the very culture they seek to escape. Truly, if one is to take up a mantle and say I am this thing and not this other, then he in that instance must move fully away from that which he is not. This requires more than simply a change in religious belief systems.
Although much of any society is governed largely by a general thinking of what is and is not acceptable in polite company, or what is and is not legal in the books, even those who subscribe to certain beliefs within a society do not always follow them as they should. Often this gives rise to separations in religion but also to separations in morality. Morality, like religion is subjective and open to interpretation. Many will say that morals are what they are and there can be no individual moral base. This idea, though it may sound logical is wholly untrue. Morality is as individual as it is necessary. Within Culture and subculture the thread that binds the whole is morality but it must be understood that one subscribes to established morality because one chooses to, not because one was told or taught to. Some will argue that morality is a learned behavior and therefore more open to manipulation from others. While this is true in part, one must also realize that that which can be learned can also be chosen. One can choose to follow one moral guide as opposed to another. A noble and moral act in one culture may be viewed as foolish and insignificant by another. Many will subscribe to those moral bases that serve their individual purpose and conveniently discard the others as foolish or out dated. And in the next breath those same people will argue the moral law they just violated. As an example, you may have a person who subscribes to a belief that sex outside of marriage is wrong, yet this same individual may be unmarried and fucking like crazy. If they find you in violation of the same law, you are often beaten over the head with how wrong it is. It is in my belief that should one decide to take up a mantel of morality of any sort they should then live wholly by that moral code and not find or tolerate any excuse to separate from it. Just as you can not pick and choose what gasses enter your lungs when you take a breath you cannot separate your morality from your honor and you cannot separate your honor from your belief.
It is necessary, if one is to truly find a place of separation from a culture that does not hold the moral code you find fulfilling, to fully separate yourself from that culture completely. Not just by jumping religions or living a life of unfocused morality. You have to take on a whole new view point of the world you live in and the life you lead. Your separation from the parent culture must be complete to the point of a new cultural formation not simply a sub cultural shift. The prefix sub implies that one is still a part of, albeit a lesser part, of some whole. Taking on the mantle of subculture automatically places one firmly in a position to be judged as such and subjected to all of the abuses reserved for those in your low station. Those still within the cultural norm, from whom you chose to separate, will be your accusers, your judgment and your end. There are simply too many bottle necks where one well versed in cultural norms can say to you “why if you believe this do you not believe this or the other? They are intrinsically tied.” And the truth of the matter is that this person would be correct. One cultural belief is in its definition as a culture tied to the history of that culture and the elements apparent in each place and time that culture has touched. You can pick and choose as you wish but you are still on one level tied to the parent culture and thus sub.
So what do you do about it? Change is my answer. First of all do not categorize what you believe as sub. Say I am a “Waxahatchiean” and we believe thus and so, and live that life. Not a pseudo-Christian or false Buddhist life with personal tweaks. If you are going to be something be it and don’t alter it for your own ends and call it a branch. One thing people don’t realize when creating these ideals is that branches are one part of what makes a tree a tree. You are still part of that tree, not separate from it. You can’t call a branch a petal and expect us to say, “I see you are not a part of that tree at all, you look like a branch but you call yourself a petal. Good enough for me.” Ha!
Secondly, you must understand that there is no need to have a group of followers validating what you think with membership cards, poorly written articles backing up what you say, and lip service you your ideals. They are your ideals and if someone else shares them that is great and where once there was one now there are two. But without them, without a group of followers these ideals, this life is still yours and no less valid than anyone else’s. Know that you have a right to be and that is all you truly deserve. So take that right, that life and live it according to your standards of living and allow nothing to separate you from it. Be it or be claimed false.
So, what to do then if you do belong to a sub-cultural group? Well examine it and yourself closely. If you find the group lacking, or if you find that you don’t truly live by the laws set forth by this moral perspective…leave; do something else, try again, and shift your perspective. And why shouldn’t you? If you find that everything fits then stay loyal to that moral code and never be moved. I am this thing and I live by this law. I’d respect you for it more so than if you two-faced, hedged and faltered.
So be part of a culture or be a part of another culture but never sub-culture yourself. It’s comparable to cliques in high school…. You are a “roper” or “prep” or “jock” or “Black-guy” (like being black is a social group) I understand children trying to find a place and understanding in a world they have little control over. But as adults is cliquing up really necessary?
Libertad!
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