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Saturday, September 20, 2008

Hoochie Culture

Hoochie Culture
The problem with Americas Teen Population

We have a serious issue in or country and I don’t believe anyone is actually tackling the problem head on. That problem is the “Hoochie” as an ideal image for teens and pre-teens. As an adult male I have no problem with grown women giving us an enticing look at the goodies. We are sexual beings and we “peacock” as a way to draw attention to ourselves. Men shave and groom just as fastidiously as any woman, we choose our clothes and accessories carefully in order to be seen, and admired for how we look. Appearance is everything, especially when you are single and “looking”. And it’s great when you are an adult.

The problem I see is when our young women take up this mantle and parade themselves about playing grown up. Make-up at 9 or ten years old, short skirts and low-cut shirts, mid-drifts exposed, showing off their little pot bellies, but no mental capacity to bear the load of adult actions. Every day in our pop culture, media and magazines our young women are filled full of these ideas that it’s not only okay to expose yourself, or make your face all up, but that it’s expected if you are going be popular or have a boyfriend. The people they choose as role models are doing it, the adults around them are doing it and the only people offering them any alternatives are religious extremists. Even at much younger ages our young women are exposed to this idea of “sexual exposure”. Take the Brat’z Dolls as an example. They are marketed to very young girls and are dressed with “attitude”. The attitude is a rebellious half nudity and a vapid almost blank approach to life. Top it off with the fantasy of stardom and our girls are already set up for a future in hoochie wear. The clothing manufactures take their hint and they scale down adult clothes to fit the smaller developing bodies. The media take their hint and every model they use in their programming and advertising is dressed in this style. Social predators take the hint, and we see them every few months on To Catch a Predator. But what about the real scum out there that drive through or school zones, walk our malls and arcades, dance in our clubs? How do we protect our children from them if we allow our children to present them selves as adults?

Tyra Banks did a show the other day on the problem of teen pregnancy. On her panel she had young girls from 12 to 17; some of them were wanted to get pregnant, others already had children, and some were currently pregnant a few on their second or third pregnancy; one young lady had already had two abortions and given up her third for adoption. Tyra tackled the problem and really brought out the truth and I commend her for that. The sad thing for me was the fact that all of these young girls thought this behavior appropriate, they had no issue with how they were treating their bodies at such a young age and every one of them was tight jeans and low cut tops. Each of them had some story about having sex because it was the thing to do if you wanted to fit in, or wanted a boyfriend. Or a story about a boy claiming undying love, or getting pregnant because you wanted to keep a boy around. Tyra asked one girl; “if it’s not about the boy then why not just pick some random teen boy from the audience and have a kid with him?” The girl balked at this idea, as she should, but I don’t think she got the point that it doesn’t matter the boy, they are just boys and as ill equipped as the girls are to handle these issues. Yet our society seems to perpetrate the idea that even very young the girls should look to the boys for support and caring, love and passion when these boys don’t have the mental capacity to offer any of those things. I can tell you as a man I was well into my twenties before I had any real concept of any of those things.

What images are our young boys bombarded with? The same ones the girls are when it comes to women, but out side of that they are forced into a superficial fantasy world of super heroes and robot cars, dreams of sports greatness and getting the girl. And this can continue well into adult-hood without some sort of intervention. There are no real lessons for our boys on how to view women, treat women, or interact socially with women. It’s either “treat them like trash,” or “treat them like treasure.” The first just breeds misogyny the second breeds a sense of entitlement in women that few actually deserve. All these boys see after school is violence and half naked women on evening television. They go to school the next morning and they see the girls in the hallways decked out like Sara Jessica-Parker or Paris “ultimate hoe” Hilton and they approach these girls with an attitude the girls accept as normal. Before long, and without intervention from someone, they will be having sex behind the bleachers. The boy may feel pressured, the girl my fell like she has to and neither know what the consequences actually are. They may whisper to each other of love and being together forever, but forever is a concept most adults shun if the divorce rate speaks to it at all. These kids may experiment and forego the condom because they are expected to know how to use on but neither really does. They may pull out because the boy say she won’t get pregnant if he cum’s on her belly. But neither of them, in that heated moment thinks they should pass on the sex all together. How do children 12 and thirteen end up alone enough to do these things? Have we lost curfews and open bedroom doors? Are our children now dictating their time and our households? Do we really think its okay for these young kids to be left alone to do as they please when we as adults set rules but offer no guidance or explanation for those rules? We expect our children to behave but we don’t think they deserve any reasoning. Do we think they won’t understand? Then we should see to it that they do. Isn’t that our job as parents?


We are living in a culture where our politicians can say to us on one hand that there should be a freedom to choose for the woman, for it is her body, and on the other hand that abortion should be regulated to back alley quacks and hangers in dark bathrooms, because if we do away with legalized abortions that is where we will find many of these young girls. We live in a culture where we hold the men that impregnate women and bail on their families responsible, so too should we hold these young boys responsible. The girls are viewed as the problem; because of course it is as simple as keeping your legs closed right? How many of you waited until you were 21 or married to start having sex? How many of you felt the same pressures that these children are feeling today? I know that in the 80’s things were a little different but no less sexually exciting. There was no real education then either, but we at least had sex-ed class, joke that it was. These teen boys should be held just as accountable as the girls are. If we are going to bring the girls to task fort opening their legs, then the boys should be brought up for sticking their dick in with no protection. Just because there is a cooch hanging out there, we all know that it’s not always prudent to put your dick in it. Let’s teach our boys that and make them answer for doing it. Things are never simple when you are that young. These are children, ignorant, dumb teens and they need guidance. It is up to us as the adults in this society to provide that guidance. And not by just saying, “I’m paying for it you will wear what I tell you,” but by giving our children perspective and guiding their actions. We should gradually allow certain things as they become age appropriate and make sure our children know why we ask of them the things we do. And we must set an example for our children. Let’s be well dressed even if it is just jeans and a tee shirt. Let’s show our children that being neat and covering your underwear is not only fashionable, but socially acceptable for anyone who wants any respect.

Facts are, your appearance speaks volumes about your person. If you allow your child to present them selves in a negative light they will be treated in that same light. It’s a harsh fact of our society. If your 10 or 12 year old girl goes out looking like a hoochie, there should be no big surprise when she comes home pregnant. If we send them out without any perspective, without any knowledge of what they may face then they will be victimized by their peers and by society at large; If we send them out with no perspective, only a ‘daddy said so” then they will pull a quick change because they will want to fit in with the other girls at school. It is a fact of life. 90 percent of people are followers and will do what the crowd is doing, whether it’s wearing your clothes backwards or showing off your g-string. The first thing we must do is educate ourselves so that we might educate our families, especially our girls.

We have created this culture where we expect our children to behave as adults but we are offering them very little equipment to do so. We allow the television to dictate fashion, and behavior and we offer little in guidance. It’s only okay or little girls to be in too small swim wear because we allow it. What are we teaching our kids? That it is fine if you show a little too much thigh. We are saying that it’s okay to kiss in the closet, or let the touches happen because we are saying nothing at all. I know a large part of the female argument is that they are doing it for their own empowerment and not for any man, but at the root that is bullshit. The facts are we use our appearance the same way the birds use their plumage, to attract and keep mates. No where else in nature do the children develop the bright colors, flowing manes, and scent glands necessary for reproduction until they are physically ready to accept a mate. We as humans have to take it a step further and focus on mental readiness. No 13 year old is mentally capable of taking care of another life. Few are mentally capable of caring for themselves. None of them truly comprehend the consequences of their actions, the sheer will it takes to deal with a child every day of your life. The changes can begin right now, it is up to you as parents, guardians and adults to educate our growing women and men on not only sexual safety but on all of the cues and clues that speak to sexual readiness. I am under no illusions that changing our children’s wardrobe will change the results but I am positive it is one of many steps that will help to lower the teen pregnancy rates, or at the very least prevent your, and my, child from becoming a teen parent. We must act and we must do it right now.

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